Have you ever felt like you shouldn't be in the business game? That your expertise didn't match up to the others in your industry who were "doing it better"? Has your mind ever played a trick on you and told you, you don't deserve to be at the place or event your at right now? or even worse, you knew you were worthy but couldn't figure out how to celebrate it, all the while feeling like a fraud?
Imposter Syndrome is real ya'll, and if you have not had it at least once in this crazy journey, consider yourself the golden unicorn of business owners (said with love!). According to wikipedia (yes I see you eye rolling judger but you know you have referenced it too), dictionary.com & Psychology.com imposter syndrome is defined as:
Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon or fraud syndrome) is a term coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Dr. Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes referring to high-achieving individuals marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud". Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. Some studies suggest that impostor syndrome is particularly common among high-achieving women.
How crazy is that, that as women business owners we are programmed to think of ourselves as frauds, especially in moments of un-surmounted success. We are wired that we do not deserve to be successful or that it was just the right timing and not our skills, gifts, passions and awesomeness that got us to where we are today!
Well that stops today, yes I am talking to you, because being a female entrepreneur already classifies you as a high performing individual, you made the choice to be a #BossLady so own it! Here are 7 tips to get you from Fraud to Fearless Leader who owns her accomplishments, in record time!
1) Focus on providing value: When we get so caught up in thinking what people will think of us if we write, stream or post about something, the value can be lost. We feel like frauds because we want people to still like us even if our opinions are not the same which can lead to the value we thought we were giving to be more of a "preachy" statement because we are in our own head. Focus on the value first and leave your own thoughts on yourself at the curb, if you audience will definitely get something out of it, do it and tell your fraud-self to stay out of it!
2) Accept that you have had some role in your successes: This sounds simple but it can be hard. I can not tell you how many times I have seen success and just passed it off as of yea but it happened because of x,y,z and not owning it! When we accept that we did have some part, even a tiny part in our successes, it allows our minds to go from fraud to fearless because not only does it lead to the release of endorphins (you know the happy hormones) but we can then allow ourselves to celebrate and show others they can too. What fraud would do that?
3) Keep a love file of testimonials: This is prob of one my favorite ones, because it does not involve doing a ton of mindset work, rather it allows you to reflect on what other people see in you and the work you provided for them. It can be hard to embrace what others say and brush it off as "O she only said it because..." but to be honest, they said it because you did something for them and showed them just how talented you are, so own it, there will be more like them that you will be able to add to this!
4) Write it out - When it doubt, write it out... ;) This is my go-to, if I ever feel like an imposter I write down why. Spend 10 minutes just writing down how you are feeling, why it is there, where it came from and by the end you will feel so much better about yourself and your fraud-self will be left on the pages instead of in your head.
5) Talk it out with a biz bestie - When writing just won't do, turn to your bestie and let them show you, just how awesome you are at what you do. Ok, it is cheesy but so true. We can be scared to actually tell our fears of being an imposter to people, but our biz besties are the ones who can relate. They can tell us just how crazy we sound and help us turn those negative thoughts into ones that probably make us cry happy tears because we are then validated and felt like we are heard in our crazy talk of fraudness.
6) Say what you can... so often I have clients that come to me saying they can't do something out of fear, that they are not the expert and won't have all the answers and may say something "wrong". Let me tell you this now NO ONE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS <3 we are all constantly learning and growing and evolving, so be ok if you can't tell them an answer, politely let them know why and that you will find it, but say what you can, when you can, don't be afraid just because it may not be the perfect answer, no one has those either!
7) Realize that nobody knows what they're doing - THIS, PRAISE HANDS ALL DAY LONG. We all need to start from somewhere, we are all just trying to figure it out and in doing so see what works for us and what doesn't. That does not make us any less of a human or of an expert in our field... actually if you look at it this way "You are an expert at your own life" and that can lead to you learn and honing the skills you desire, then no one can every tell you, even if it is yourself, that you are not good enough. The power of choice comes in here too, because we are choosing to know that we may not know it all, but that we still have skills and abilities to get stuff done!
Who is ready to own our successes? Who is ready to stop talking down to ourselves in moments when all we want to do is shout from the roof tops? I hope these 7 tips will help you see that you are not an imposter at all. You are already rocking it in the business you started and you will succeed at your own pace and that is a-ok!
If you are thinking that you want to not see yourself as an imposter but feel like you may need more accountability in getting yourself out of your own way, let's chat! I'd love to be able to help you stop the negative self-talk and gain the confidence in yourself to own/celebrate everything you are and will do in your business. Schedule your free call here!